Ze Relationship Zeries #2: There’s No Other Woman.

Oct 25, 2011 by

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Relationships are never, ever simple. No matter how hard you try to make it (simple), and no matter how harder you try to convince yourself that it is (simple), it’s not.  A relationship begins when the strongest swimmer fertilizes the precious egg.  After a few months of magical synergy, the offspring now has an unbreakable bond, or relationship, with its mother.  You see, at the onset of a relationship, everything looks promising.  However, I am not about to give you a lecture on relationships in the Nat Geo fashion albeit useful and very, very informative. Instead, I will you a quick rundown of how my relationships were generally.  This way, it will give those of you who have had relationships an account where you will, possibly, see yourself in, and by the end of this quick essay, think that yes, you are not alone. And for those who have not had relationships (although I doubt there are any who will be reading this, though I could be mistaken), be forewarned of the realities of relationships.

At a very early age, I was exposed to relationships (thanks to Walter Disney’s genius).  Those colourful musicals that depicted what we call relationships served as the benchmark of how I believe relationships are (supposed to be).  And I am not only talking about romantic relationships, as there were many: The Queen’s with his Son, The Prince’s with his footman, The Witch’s with the princess, and The frog’s with himself. As I grew up, this idea of how relationships are and should be, were even reinforced through the many books I have read.

It’s been almost a decade since my first real relationship.  I have had three (yes, I will not count conquests, flings, and the like here). And a decade it has been of mostly sad days.  If my relationships were to be made into a movie it has to be a 4-part saga.  Why, you are quite attentive! I have had three, yet I demand a four-part saga?

Because the last part will BE the happy ending.

It is utterly difficult squeezing a saga into 300 hundred words, but at the risk of being unpublished, I will try.  All my relationships had the same themes- passionate crazy love, deceit, forgiveness, some more deceit, and passionate crazy endings – all the elements that makes a good saga.  And all three lasted for only a year each.  I’d like to believe it was a cycle.  The same issues, different guy. The same ecstasy, different guy. The same tears, different guy.

The first and second were more or less the same in a lot of aspects (level of maturity, etc). But the third, ah the third, was quite different- it was the craziest, most deceitful, most passionate I’ve had.  You see, despite the fact that through my first and second, I was exposed to the real world where lies are middlenames of a huge majority, I did not learn my lesson.  I still thought of men as honorable, honest, and decent much like the Princes.

The third began with deceit, and ended with deceit. I do not claim complete moral uprightness, nor do I claim absolute righteousness as I have had my fair share of mistakes in the course of all my relationships, but the third one was (my) self-imposed doom. You see, I am used to getting who I want, and whenever I want (ah, the Glory Days!). So, the third was to me all a self test…if I can get who I fancied, when I fancied, REGARDLESS of the circumstances. A month into dating (meaning regular dates, but not yet a couple, just to be clear as dating could mean a lot of things to different people) the third, I discover that the he was apparently in a relationship when I made my waltz into the picture.  Naturally, it was a dilemma for me if we should stop dating or not. However it did not stop me, for shame on someone who fools me with something as serious as being in a relationship when my intentions were pure, and dare he not escape unscathed. So the relationship began and it went on for a year. He made me believe that it was his first time to be polygamous, until very recently (a few months ago, I learned that he made attempts at relations of varying levels with different guys before we even met).

By the way it was from me whom Anne Curtis’ character in the movie “The Other Woman” borrowed the line: “…just make sure you do not fall in love with me…” because that is exactly what I said when it all began.

Was I bitter in all of three relationships? Yes I was, but not anymore. Do I regret meeting them? No. Do I regret having relationships (with them)? No.

Now you see why there is a need for the fourth and final installment of the saga? Because the first two were just formative years and the third was my transition into the real world of relationships.  Hence the fourth will be IT.  I am certain. All three relationships burned me and them severely. But like any burn, it heals…but the memory lives on.

Relationships hurt; as much as they give you pleasure. Relationships can get really ugly, after being so beautiful. Relationships begin with the simplicity of the synergy of good intentions and mutual admiration, but end with an explosion of bad faith. Relationships are the biggest paradoxes in this universe. It is something that those who have been burnt so badly, want to avoid for the rest of their lives, but sometimes still dream of having.  It is something that those who are in it, would want to get out of secretly.

But at the end of the day, relationships are what you believe them to be. Work on what you believe in, and the rocky ride will be worth it… seriously.  As for me? I never gave up on having relationships really, for at the end of my relations with those three, I go back to having the most important relationship I personally believe I have- with myself. Lucky me I ain’t that bad looking, so it’s easy to have a relationship with myself.  Kidding aside, who knows when the fourth will come? But I know it will come…and I will wait. Because the saga must have a happy ending. A lady once told me in a song that her prince will come, and so will mine. Otherwise, if you think you are qualified, you may start downloading application forms here so my happily ever after can begin.

 

That part the movies show. With John Lloyd Cruz and Luis Manzano in IN MY LIFE.

This week, myiloilo.net dedicates its pages to stories about relationships. Something we are all so full of. So why don’t you start typing down a few words, recall those heartbreaks, remember those unforgettable romances, and recount every odd thing this abstract world of relationships have brought you? We accept articles with pseudonyms for bylines. Your story should not exceed 300 words. Oh yeah. Email address for your precious stories would be rl.rodriguezph@gmail.com

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