10 Things I Hate at the Gym

May 15, 2012 by

When I am doing something that requires concentration (not much on lifting heavy weights, but to actually finish┬áthe sets and reps), I bask at my isolation. I’d like to do it myself, without glaring distractions. That’s why I fired my personal trainer because there was just too much talking in-between sets and the energy required to think what to say doubles up the exhaustion. So I fired him. Pity.

Now that I work out on my own, my progress takes place faster than the usual. I am not forgetting the fact that I am a classically trained dancer, so my muscle memory and core control is still fully-functional. I am aware which muscles work for a particular flex, and bend and press and lift. I know it, without knowing how it’s called. And it’s called instinct. Whatever.

So at this gym where I work out now, some of the regular gym-goers seriously get into my nerves. Here are some of the things that make me want to shove a 20 pounder plate into these people’s throats:

1. The loud groaning sounds. I understand that heaving helps in lifting weights or finishing a set that borders on your threshold, but maybe a little control in one’s groaning can be appreciated. Some of the guys in my gym groan like they’re getting fucked in the ass.

2. The shrimp show-offs. I can only assume these people build their muscles because it’s their way of life. But I have other thoughts. They’re out to show their stuff and strut it around the gym. They lift weights as heavy as a Boeing 747. They walk around and flex their muscles in front of the mirror right where you try to align your pathetic little arms too. These buffs look horrible if you make them wear a polo shirt that doesn’t fit too much.

3. The yakking fat ladies. So many fat gym-going ladies who go there not really to lose weight but to socialize. They gather in one corner, talk about mistresses, sex scandals, new hottie, etc. They wear all the best brands for posterity purposes.

4. The sweaty pigs. Yukky icky sweaty people who do not care wiping the benches that drip with their sweats. Gross overload.

5. Girls/Boys who stare at my butt. I get conscious.

6. Cardio people who change the TV channels without minding who came ahead at the treadmill. Oh wait, there’s no treadmill. Just the bike thing. These TV maniacs always, always tune in to basketball channels or football channels. Is it to scream to the world what kind of a walking testosterone you are?!

7. Girls/Boys who ask for my number. What the?!

8. Those who do not return the plates after they finish their sets. This one really gets to me. Like today, I really went up to the guy who used the bench ahead and asked him to remove his plates. He looked startled.

9. Gym wanderers. They don’t sweat. They drink gatorade every 38 seconds. They sit on the ball. They walk around. They watch TV. They read magazines. They walk around. They check out the window. They shower. Then they go.

10. The proponents. These are some of the guys who suggest how I do my work out right. I know they mean well, but really? Can we just mind our own business?

Definitely NOT how my gym looks like.

Gym Etiquette for Dummies. WAAAAATCH!!!

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