Magic Mike and their Wands

Jul 14, 2012 by

When you go to the movies to watch Channing Tatum, you do not look for mental things like groundbreaking plot, epic cinematography or life-changing CGI. Channing makes you forget about all these because hey — the abs does the trick. Absolutely no need for real acting, or serious character interpretation: just by staring at the screen, your innards might make you feel a bit pumped up.

Magic Mike has a story so simple you don’t need to have a functioning brain. It’s about making some rogue choices in life that leads our characters into a feeling of entrapment, thus the struggle for emancipation and ultimately, for good life. The story establishes itself early on, one would feel you’ve seen this kind of movie a hundred times before except that this one feels more like a prolonged Katy Perry music video with attempted dialogues.

When I watched it at SM City Iloilo Cinema 2 (in 2D), the sound quality was so fucked up I wanted to leave the theater. But for the sake of Tatum and Pettyfer’s steroidal visuals, I stayed on. The sound inside the cinema was extremely muffled. As a TV and radio production professor, I reckon the problem was in the equalizer and mix-down of the audio. There was too much bass and the treble/mid tones were below normal. So all we hear is a foamy sound mostly made up of vowels. It’s just so unfortunate that I know how all of it works because my tolerance level reaches an all time low.

There were cuts in the movie, of course. I can only imagine those parts were probably quick snippets of the meatier parts of the film — majority of which comprise of the things the audience actually paid for. It’s like getting a pay-per-view of a Manny Pacquiao match and all the jaw-blows and right upper cut were all deleted. Imagine the absurdity. Nevertheless, we get to see the picture even with all the cuts that were done so ruthlessly the unsuspecting audience would think the film editor hasn’t finished editing school. Again, the plot is so simple the film could have finished in 20 minutes.

Channing Tatum is a very good dancer. We all know stripping was his former job, so playing this part as Mike isn’t really much of playing but more like a reenactment of himself. Alex Pettyfer is a very cinemagenic actor despite his regular looks. The girls behind us kept screaming every time Pattyfer’s calves were focused. Such fetish. Matthew McConaughey looks exactly the same as in his previous films (can’t remember them, really). But the revelation in this movie is Cody Horn who plays Brooke. This is one actor whose best skills in portraying emotions can be summed up into one: pouting of the lips. She looked absolutely flat and tired and about to pass out and we don’t know if she actually means something being onscreen. The only good thing about her was wearing a two-piece and the tattoo peeks out of her groin.

Sexiness meter: 4/10. It won’t cause your underpants to explode, really.

Alex Pettyfer and Matthew McConaughey

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3 Comments

  1. Aldene

    SM City Cinemas in Iloilo have bad audio or sound whatever. I always prefer watching in Robinson’s Movieworld.

    • admin

      I also like Robinsons cinema audio… But SM City’s 3D theaters are also ok (so far). What I’m just ticked about was that Magic Mike is shown in 2D. Isn’t the audio supposed to be crisp too? =) hehehe.

  2. Art John

    Lol. Cody Horn with her pouting lips throughout the film.

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