How Not To Look Like A Success Story

Oct 7, 2011 by

When we see a┬áCaucasian┬áman with pronounced features of being a Caucasian walking in a honeymoonish fashion with a girl who is obviously a Filipina based on the physical attributes, we automatically become rabid: nakabingwit (she’s got a catch). Admit it. We are a bunch of judgmental freakos who look down on tandems like these, especially if the woman can hardly speak in straight English. So what if they met through the internet? So what if they had cybersex before they eye-balled? So what if the guy looks like he couldn’t get it up anymore?

It’s just none of your business, really. But what the heck. It’s a good coffee table topic.

So now the predicament has been my official business, together with my friends. This is so because my very good friend is about to commence a real-life love come December with a man whom she has met online. The man is an Australian and my friend emphasizes on his accent as Hugh Jackman-ish.

The real predicament in this situation is: how not to look like a success story. Here are some tips collected after a long discussion last night with Lala, Trisha and Cristabel.

1. Do not wear heavy make up.

2. Do not wear bangles and weird chandelier earrings.

3. Do not whip your hair to the side and brush it to the opposite side every three minutes.

4. Do not wear rubber shoes.

5. Do not wear fitting clothes.

6. Do not wear a belt bag.

7. Speak in straight, correct English.

8. Do not make the Caucasian hold you over the shoulder. Hold hands if you must but don’t cling on him as if you’re being blown by a strong wind.

9. Do not drink mixed alcohol. Go for Pilsen.

10. And according to LJ, carry a book whenever possible. It makes a lot of difference.

Ze couple. From

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1 Comment

  1. Anonaemous

    Strangely, its the girl’s hand that’s on the butt.

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